Day...Several Days After

Well, we ended up talking and continuing after he read what I wrote.  We were doing alright but then I think I done goofed.  Badly.  In a gamble and moment of hope, I told him I loved him.  Not in a 'book' that I wrote, but in a statement small paragraph.  Now I love him all around, not just in a romantic way, but I appreciate who he is and that statement encompasses that.  But...he didn't like it. Things have changed.  We tried talking through it last night but pretty much got nowhere.  I kept reiterating that I love Rob that I don't want him taking the place of Rob nor I, in the place of Star.  But that doesn't matter.  The damage is done.  I feel maybe I've lost him.  He doesn't love me.  I thought at the very least there'd be some affection, a love for who I am and what we have shared.  God I was so stupid to think that maybe I was more than just an online friend and booty call.  That's what I am.  I play online with him and that's my function.  There's nothing more there.  I feel so stupid.  Thinking he felt something too.  I just feel too much.  I cared for him too much.  I took a gamble and lost.