More of the same I s'pose

So, I cried again last night.  I guess it just hurts to know that you don't love me.  My soul aches to be acknowledged and my body aches just as much.  It yearns for the intense, unifying sexual act that I've read about and hear that you and Star experience.  I want to know what it feels like to be claimed and entered so far that we literally can't tell where one of us begins and the other ends.  It could just be the books I've read and what you've said are all exaggerations and even if I felt you, it wouldn't feel like any of that.  It probably would be something in between.  I dunno.  I fully believe that a person can be in love with more than one person.  I love Rob.  I love nothing more than to cuddle with him and he be all tender and kind, rubbing my head and back.  I don't feel intense sexual passion with him so much as a need to be protected and nurtured.  I fear that's harming us some, and I need to work on that.  I know I will never get to meet you, much less touch you.  I need to make peace with the fact that you don't love me and that you're probably still talking to me out of obligation now.  We've been talking for so long that it's just a part of what we do each day.  I just wish that there was more behind what you say.