The Runner

I'm the runner.  I realized this recently.  Whenever I find out something that makes me sad or confirms that you don't really love me like I do you, I run.  I try to close off and step back.  I know this isn't how relationships are supposed to be, but then again...I'm just someone you talk to.  I found out again today that you continue to talk to others, even after you agreed that...Fantasy without depth is a cup of water that never clenches your thirst.  I guess you aren't worried about your thirst being quenched.  I kind of want to just stop everything.  The chatting with you, the breast massages, the fetlife account, interactions with anyone, everyone else.  I feel so gloomy and non important.  I can't put this burden on you.  I'm not yours and you don't want to be mine.  I do sometimes weep at night when I think of never experiencing total sexual satisfaction.  Oh well.  I chose this.  I think...